headache

What a big headache this week has been. I am excited that now I have a car and can go places. At the same time im super busy trying to get my life in order. Not to metion it last week of term at school with a amazingly hard final in anatomy. I do love that I got to have fun with my daughter and take her to park. On other hand driving myself seems to be more tiring. In the last two weeks I have driven at least an hour a day. It not just errans it visiting family and what not. I still feel held back. We will see when I get a place of my own I will finally feel all my work is worth it.

up

This week was a good week. I know it a little late considering that I am 21 but I finally got my drivers license. It was really hard for me. I think I was more afraid of crashing rather than driving in itself. My sister Diana took me out many many hours of practice til I finally got it. I think the hardest challenge was switching lanes and the freeway. I am still reluctant to drive on the freeway. Well it has only been a day since I got my license. I feel like this is a big step for me and it only up from here. Tomorrow I get my CPR certification, whats next is yet to be decided.

Time goes by so fast

Time goes by so fast and so many crazy things happen in it. There are ups and downs. My relationship with my boyfriend has been a bit crazy to say the least. Out of our relationship came our beautiful daughter. It just got me thinking about it because there are two major dates coming. My three year anniversary with my boyfriend is on monday. I can't believe that it has been this long. Also, my daughter is turning one on February 14^th. I can't believe it gone so fast.

All work and no fun

I watch my daughter, clean up after my daughter, do school, and look for work. My me time is gone. NO freinds no break. I feel like I am going to snap. I just lost the last connection to my freinds. All the me time I had hust flew away. All this work and no breaks. It just doesn't seem doable. I feel like just giving up right now.  I see no light at the end of the tunnel and someone just took away my flash light. Is there any hope?

Getting it done?

I have lived with my sister for about a week now, and I moved here because well I had no choice and for more opportunity. I have been taking care of my daughter, school; and just added classes, and looking for a job. My daughter is almost walking and it is almost impossible to do anything but watch her while she is awake. I am practically a single mother, her father visits about once a month. I am trying super hard at school and feel empty because I still haven't seen the reward of all my hard work. I haven't had to look for work in a long time. I started my last jib in 2007 and worked there til 2009. Then took time off to have my daughter and moved away from my job. Now a days it is a tough market out there. Finding a job is a lot harder than I imagined. So, all this work that I am doing, and it doesn't feel like I'm really getting anything done.

?

My daughters father is less than helpful. Yes, he does give some child support but not enough. He been “planning” to get his GED and “planning” to come and see his daughter more. I watch her, I feed her, I have her with me 24/7, I go to school, and I now have to work because he can't do what he is supposed to. I yell at him the same things over and over and it hits him like a wall and bounces back to me. He says he is trying, but he always with his friends. He says he loves me and wants a family and he don't see that his family has been sitting here waiting for him to grow up. Am I addicted to yelling? Am I wrong? Is he just messing with my mind to see his side or am I right? I feel like I am at an in-pass with my heart and my mind. As I was writing my paper on preventing teen pregnancy, I just realized I followed in my moms foot steps and I don’t know if I can leave my daughter without a father like I was. Do I give her a father that less than worthy or not one at all.

Were my life is going?

I just recently moved out of my mothers house and in with my sister. I know that I should be a grown up by now since, stable without help. I have a kid of my own, but  think though it makes it that much harder. I lived with my mom when I found out I was pregnant, and had no job. I signed up for school though but I still felt like I was going no were. I am 21, have a baby, no licence, no car, no job. Being at home with my mom I was trapped in a cycle, constantly worrying about my living situation and were my life was going. Well a few days ago in yet another fight with my mom, she made me move. Don't get me wrong I was grateful  for her helping with a place to live but I needed more. Since moving in with my sister, I am going to take the permit test, got all my medical stuff switched over to new town, plans on a future job, and it only been a day. It may be a hard long road but I feel things are finally looking up. I am excited and scared, but very ready to figure this out and get out there on my own.