Sunday, December 5, 2010
Have you ever had a life changing dilemma?
Have you ever had a life changing dilemma? My daughter is almost one and before she was born her father and I got along great. Yea, we had our moments, but for the most part was good. After I had my daughter however, and I am not blaming her but it changed us. I thought it would bring us closer and happier and a family. Instead it had me seeing all his faults through a magnify glass and before I was blinded to the fact. Before it didn't bother me that he was out of work and lived with his mother, and had no drive to go any were with his life, because I loved him passed that and I didn't need him to be any more than what he was. Believe me I have asked and YELLED for him to change and nothing, I need his help now for our daughter and I feel in this alone. I have lost countless nights of sleep over this. I feel like I do not want him anymore but still love him. I am wondering if its even fair to ask him to change. I love my daughter and want that family but not at the cost of our happiness. No matter what I decide someone gets hurt. He says he try’s and that he loves me but every word that he says I feel him letting me down again, breaking another promise again. My dilemma, love.
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Hello Jennifer, I hope you don't mind me getting into your business but I read your blog. I truly believe that you are facing a dilemma that every woman has or will go through in this lifetime. I am a couple of years older than you only two and I have seen a lot. I don't have any children, not yet anyway but one day I desire to. All I can say is that a man will not change when you want him to but when he decides he's ready. Now whether that takes you leaving him because you feel that's your only option or you can find it in your heart to have more patience than you normally would to make it work. I too am going through something with a longtime boyfriend, I learned that a man will not change his ways when you want him to but when he wants to. I chose not to stick it out with my X and I regret it. It's the reason why our relationship is so weird at the present time. Take it from me he will change when he gets ready, but its up to you to stick it out or move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteHi Jenny, I am much older and have a son that is 22 and a 19 yr old daughter. I also have a 37 yr old daughter with two children, 14 yr old son and an 11 yr old daughter. Life gives us opportunities to learn. How or what we learn is our choice and no one elses. Remember to think about everything surrounding the situation, look inside you for what you want and for what you think is best for your daughter, as she is your responsibility. Be clear and honest with yourself and meditate on everything, then the answers will come to you and you will know what to do. You can only control you and your thinking, no one elses. Hope and happiness for you and yours.
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